Children are Assholes

Let me first begin by saying, I do not have children; therefore, I am sure there are some perfectly well adjusted, non entitled children out there...but I haven't seen them. In general people are raising little assholes who will grow up to be bigger assholes.  

What do I mean? 

Every child since the beginning of time has said "I want" or " I need" (insert something here). I can remember getting the Wish Book when I was young, flipping through the pages and imagining all of the things I could ask for. Writing my mile long list...and some years even totaling it, in hopes that Santa would bring me one item on it. I was sure to asterisks the most important ones.

It usually consisted of some clothes, a game or a barbie. I did not get gifts every time we went shopping, there was no Dollar Store and the thought of even asking for something outside of a special event was not in the realm of my thinking. 

To go on school or club trips I dusted, vacuumed and did odd jobs to earn some spending money. I grew up in a rural area, so babysitting was not an option. My parents spent more money driving me to my part-time jobs than I made, but it was all to learn a valuable lesson, one which I am eternally grateful for...I know the value of money.

I hear my friends talk about gifts for their children and I am always amazed what they ask for: laptops, ipads, cell phones, $400 jackets...etc.  I am thinking I have some of this but I WORK for it, I do not feel it should be given to me.  Children are very materialistic these days and no one is changing it, more, so they seem to be encouraging it. Are these same parents going to support these children when they get their first credit card and max it out? Are we raising a future society of over spenders?

Tonight I was having dinner out, listening to a conversation going on at the table behind me...yes I admit I was eavesdropping...when the meals were being delivered the mother and daughter both ordered spaghetti and meatballs. The mother had one more meatball on her plate (because the child basically screamed it). The child demanded they change plates because it was her birthday and the mother did...and then told her to keep her voice down.

Again, I am not a parent but I see many things wrong with this scenario.

People need to be a parent, stand up to their children and not try to be their friend. Act up and there are consequences, Want an ipad? Earn it! 

I'm not saying don't buy these things, but I don't feel a nine year old needs a cell phone unless he/she suddenly has invented something and is growing an empire. Entitled Children....I would like to take out my bat (foam of course) and beat their parents with it...as these are the children who will dump you off at the first nursing home they find after you refuse to pay for their family's vacation to Bora Bora...and the only person you have to blame is yourself.

This is how I feel as I sit here drinking my tea on my high horse wanting to bitch slap the 9 year old at dinner.  Maybe I need to add something stronger to me tea.

Somethings Never Change

People keep talking about all of the things that are constantly changing. Yes there are lots of things that have changed in the world as we know it with technology and industry but let's face it- one thing that has not changed is people.

I have just started watching the series Downton Abbey about an aristocratic family (The Crawley's) and the life upstairs with the family and downstairs with the staff. So far each episode has made me root for one member and I am ready to slaughter others.

People's relationships haven't changed nor have the scandals and gossip.

We are still trying to one up each other on the backs of others. The only difference is now there really is no stop on changing social classes. People can become wealthy or poor overnight. I don't really even think people (unless really poor or rich) even pay attention to anymore.

Instead of texting the gossip they mailed letters. Instead of cyber bulling...they did it to your face. I recommend this show as one to watch as just when you are about to throw one of the characters overboard they suddenly surprise you with something that may resemble humanity.

So sit back, get your glass of wine and watch "real life" unfold

Man vs Wood

I am not sure if all men are born with the same gene which prohibits the painting of wood but it seems they all have it. Every time I talk about painting "real" wood, I can see a part of my husband cringe. When we remodeled our kitchen I forewarned my husband that no matter how he built it, the cabinets would be painted white. I thought my father-in-law was going to throw himself in front of the paint brush before the first stroke. He is of the mind set that no paint should touch the sacred heart of a tree.

In my mind, a tree is chopped down sent to a mill to be cut and torn apart then sanded ...what's a little paint after that! I on the other hand love paint. The more colour the better. I would not be inclined to paint a beautifully crafted piece but mouldings or (more recently) a cabinet...let me at it!

Recently I decided that the china hutch in our dinning room had become my nemesis. That thing collects dust like nothing I have ever seen. It has tons of tiny crevices and I spend more time dusting the fuzzies off from my dusting brush to the point where I'd say.."The hell with it" it can collect as much dust as it wants.  I came to a point when I could no longer take it and set my mind to paint it. If I had know the amount of work it would take to complete this job (while my husband was away) I might not have started it.

So here is the before...note all of those tiny crevices in the bottom doors

Then on goes the primer coat....gotta love Bin. It avoids the sanding stage, but ensure you have a well ventilated area..as the fumes can make you loopy...and let's face it I cannot afford to loose any more brain cells. Age is already taking care of that part.

Then after some more work, a couple drinks (water of course) and some (ok LOTS) of curse words...ta da...

When my husband got home, I asked what it thought about the cabinet. He looked at it and said "maybe it will grow on me". I guess I deserve that after the kitchen tile fiasco...See near the bottom of post for the story



Wedding Bliss

I have been to several weddings in my life and over time I have been able to acknowledge, sometimes too openly, what I do and do not like about weddings. That is why, when we got married we thought about all of the painful things people put you through when they get married and we abolished them from ours:

1. No eating in front of people. I always feel sorry for people at the last table as they have watched all of the food go by, salivating at the chance that someone will drop off a carrot as they go by. By the time they get their meal, they are so hungry that they don't care that the meat is dry, the potato could be mistaken for a softball and don't even get me started on the wizzled vegetables...let alone the temperature of the food by the time it gets to you.

2. Wedding Cake. Whoever invented the traditional fruit cake for the groom cake and the white cake for the bride should be burned in eternal hell without a fan. Seriously we have come so far in the foodie culture that this is no longer required in 2012. Come on people...I don't care how pretty the outside is..it is what is on the inside that counts. Side note: we had 10 different cakes at our wedding and I think my father tried at least 5.

3. The Speeches. I like the short and sweet ..love ya speeches, but I do not care about you thanking your fourth cousin once removed for supplying the name of a caterer. Keep it light, full of jokes everyone gets and best of all 5 minutes ...TOPS... I usually find myself wondering how many steps it would take to get out the door and hang out next to the bar and wait for the pulling of the teeth to end.

4. The in between delay. Most of the time you go a wedding you do not know very many people so you spend your time making idle chit chat while the bride and groom are off getting their pictures taken. If it is a local wedding you can at least go home but at a destination wedding you are stuck there guzzling alcohol trying to speed up Father Time and wondering if you can return the gift you bought.

Now don't get me wrong there are lots of things about weddings I do like.

1. I like the exchange of vows. If you are going to make a commitment then doing it in front of people will hopefully make it stick.

2. Dancing. A wedding without dancing is like cake without icing...what's the point! I like getting my groove on and swinging my hips...you can't take the Maritimes out of this girl.

3. Drinking without guilt. If you have one too many cocktails...it's ok.. it just shows you are having a good time. Where else can you get away with this? Crazy enough, it's expected.

4. The fashion. The glitter. The shoes!!! The crow in me likey.

At the end of the day I think whether you spend $500 or $50,000 on a wedding the memories can be the same. It is about two people making a commitment to one another for the rest of their lives. Whether you have an appetizer or full seven course meal doesn't matter, what really matters is what is left on the gift table...oh yeah baby..gifts galore!

Life's too short

I live in a town which has four universities in a population just over 350k, which means that this time of year is crazy busy with back to school. Tonight I went out with some of my girlies to a cocktail and dessert bar...I know!, two of my favourite things- and while I did take some time to wash my face and slap on some makeup, I did not spend hours preening.

I have never been the type to take 2 hours to get ready. I am more of a.. I put some effort in and this is as good as it is going to get..kind of girl. I do realize that it takes some time to grow into your skin, to find out who you want to be, but lets face it...I am many years older than first year university and instead of getting all dressed up and wearing shoes I cannot walk in...I would rather wear shorts and a t-shirt and jump on bubble wrap any day...after all ..life's too short.

50 ...is a long time

When I was younger, I used to think 50 days was a long time to date one guy and now here I am just having celebrated my parent's 50th wedding anniversary.

During their impromptu party, I was asked to give a speech and I was not prepared. Afterwards I got to thinking about what it takes to make it to fifty years of wedded bliss...or at least a low level of tolerance. So here is my take on 50 years! - The top 5 version



5. Both people have to live! This is important as I am sure lots of people toast their love ones on what would have been their 50th but I am going to be a stickler on this one and rule you must both be living. Wheelchairs, pacemakers, oxygen masks..whatever it takes people.

4. Keep each day as a new discovery. I am sure that after 50 years it is hard to keep the mystery alive, but I am happy to say my parents have. For instance, my Father waited until they had been married for 46 years to tell my mother that he didn't like salmon.

3. Like different things. If you each like doing the same things with each other all of the time, you are going to get sick of each other really damn quick. My Father likes to go out and meet everyone with in a 10 km radius..Mom likes to go walking at night so she doesn't have to see anyone. Mom likes to read novels in short order and it takes the entire day for dad to read the newspaper.

2. Know who the leader is. While people like to believe a relationship is 50/50.. I believe that those people are probably divorced. When my parents travel, my father goes where he is told to go and they arrive safe and sound. When my mother dozes off in the backseat my dad and I take a wrong turn and end up with a story which still makes laughing headlines in our family.

1. Marriage is not 9-5. If it was we would all be unemployed or looking for a raise. Everyone signs up for the good times, but it is the bad times which strengthens the marriage. My parents have been through loss of family and friends, raising children, health issues, renovations and struggles a long the way.

But the secret to a long lasting marriage is to marry someone who has your back. When you get older, things don't look the same.. and knowing that when the cows get out, you can call and blame that person on the other end of the phone...while they are at work and can do nothing about it..and they just say "yup, it's all my fault" then you know you have a true lasting relationship.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Am I the exception?

You always hear about there being an exception to ever rule. Well, today I believe I am it. For some reason I hit the "next blog" button after viewing a post and for the next 15 clicks of this button I came up with blogs from Christians, about Christians, quotes of Christianity and even a couple of ministers. I am not saying that I am not a christian, but let's face it, my blog does not revolve around my mission in life to serve to serve others and be devout.

I grew up going to Sunday school and the day I decided to drop out was probably one of the happiest days of my mother's life. No more dragging me over the roads while she sat in a cold church upstairs. We then became "those people". You know the ones who only go to church at Christmas and Easter. Every year we went at Christmas and every year one of us got sick...so then we stopped going altogether.

I later went on to university and there was a non denominational church on the campus which I occasionally went to, and later decided to check out a "sister" church to a local Baptist church. I went here for about a year and then decided that a lot of these people were hypocrites. They were there to meet a husband, or to feel more righteous than their neighbours. I guess they missed the fact that I had a boyfriend and I was not the one falling asleep during the sermons.

I did not get married in a church nor do I read the bible. Do I believe in God? That is a hard question for me. I believe in a higher power but do I believe he is brown hair and blue eyed as all the pictures indicate? No. Do I believe the bible stories? To a degree, but there are a lot of contradictions as they are one person's perception of what happened. Plus I believe in evolutions...gasp.

I am happy to live my life in the best possible way I can, believe in a greater good, and try not to be too sarcastic. I think that is all anyone can ask for, so don't expect me to peddle my opinion anywhere as you will be disappointed..and for all of you out there looking to be saved...hit "next blog"...as you won't find it here. I am more into telling it like it is, laughing about it and moving on.

By George I Got It

All this time I have been thinking about a non book club book club. See . So last night at about 2am, when I do my best thinking, I thought screw the book club ...I should start a bake club! This way we can talk about whatever and eat!

The more I thought about my wonderful idea the more I thought ...there should be some rules...welcome to the OCD side of me.

So here is what I have come up with:

Rule 1: The core group shall consist of 6-8 people
Rule 2: There is no pressure to actually bake the goodies, sometimes store bought can surprise everyone
Rule 3: Everyone must bring one item and enough servings for 12
Rule 4: The hostess will not be the same person each time and they can invite whomever they want to their day but no one else can bring extras...this rule is strictly for seating purposes as none of us have enough seating for 20 in our living rooms.
Rule 5: If you bake it...bring 10 copies of the recipe
Rule 6: The hostess gets all the leftovers.
Rule 7: This is meant to be casual and not add extra stress on anyone so simplistic drinks such as tea, juice/water will suffice. This is not a competition
Rule 8: The hostess names the theme of the party..in other words if the hostess is looking for kids birthday party treats than that's her decision....no matter if she will freeze the leftovers and use them at said party...hey who am I to judge
Rule 9: The bake club will be held the first Sunday of every month..not so much a rule but a guide
Rule 10: I think there are enough rules...so let's have fun and eat!

Who's in?

It's all about the poop

It never fails that whenever my family sits down to a meal the topic of fecal matter always pops up. The conversation can be going along in a completely different route and then all of a sudden poop comes into the picture.

It is not always at dinner either. When we first got our dog I knew I would have to pick up the poop. I have never had the best of stomachs for picking it up, but I figured I could venture. I actually built a whole system down to how I do it. I usually get lots of forewarning with the dog pooping as he suddenly does the John Wayne walk and then drops his bum...stares intently at you and the deed is done. In order for me to deal with this and not gag...not to say I haven't..here is my scenario.

-When your dog is beginning the John Wayne walk. Stop. Make sure you are not in the downwind direction
-When he stares directly into your eyes, turn the other way and get the bag ready
-Inspect the bag once it is over your hand, still turned away, to ensure there are no hole or tears. This ensures no vomiting on my part either
-Hold breathe and quickly look to see if the deed is done. Turn head back the opposite way and let out your breathe
-Hold your breathe once again, turn around..pick up the poop, flip over the bag, beginning walking away, knot the bag, take two more steps and breathe out


The last step take only a minute but it is the most important step to limit the gag reflex.

Not only do dinner and walking consume the poop conversation but so does general conversation. I recently had to take Tylenol 3s and two members of my family began talking about my possible constipation...which I wasn't...Everyday the big conversation was...did I poop...I thought they were going to cheer when I did...I KNOW...we need a life but then again...Shit happens!

Break it down

I love to read recipes. I love to look at the pictures and imagine what it will taste like. I have been going online for years to search for new ideas and twists to our favorites. Because really how many times can you make the came chicken over and over.

So I am always looking for new ideas. I tend to go to allrecipes.com a lot as it is an easy site to search and has ratings; which for the most part, are true.

If you are trying to find a recipe by your local restaurant...chances are you will find it here copykat.com

There are lots of site out there but then I came across this one today and the pictures are amazing foodgawker.com. This site will make you drool over the possibilities. For once I found a site where I am actually going to try the full recipe without making any changes....well maybe a substitution or two wouldn't really make a difference.

What to do on a Saturday

I woke up last Saturday morning in anticipation of my parents coming to the city for the morning. I never realized, until I started driving them around, how many great places there are in the city. We started the morning off with a tour of our "new farmer'smarket". While it may have been open for longer than new applies, the old farmer's market still thinks of it as the new building. Might have something to do with the whole original market being established in the 1700's ..but back then there was no Loblaws.

This market was open only on Saturdays but now has several days when it is open but Saturdays are the best as all of the vendors are in. There is everything there from coffee to handmade craft to vodka...oh yeah and some produce and meats . I enjoy strolling up and down the aisles as it is not only a great place to do your shopping but oh my...the people watching is a definite 10 out of 10. Bring cash and your appetite and you are sure to leave empty and full! Check it out at http://halifaxfarmersmarket.com/

After out stroll around the market, we decided to head off to an oil and vinegar store I have been talking about. Trust me, I was a skeptic too until I took the taste test. I thought how different can olive oil be....well I am now a believer! It can taste like anything from your grass clipping to the most aromatic flavours, all of which makes you think of all recipes to try. The names may sound off but the taste is amazing. I will be forever converted. No more Bertolli for me. Check it out at: http://www.allthingsolive.ca/ I recommend the Herb Olive oil and the fig balsamic.

There are lots of other shops in the Hydrostone to check out, but it was time for coffee and I could taste a chocolate croissant in my future. Which meant we were hopping back in the car and up over the bridge to a tiny little place called Two if By Sea.



They make THE BEST croissants in metro. And ours had just come out of the oven. Now be forewarned if you have eaten before attempting this delectable you may want a doggy bag as it is not for the "bird eater". It is true perfection from its crunchy outside crust to it layers of buttery pastry on the inside. YUM is the only word. There are lots of tasty treats here and the coffee is good too...which is always a plus. BUT on Saturday morning be prepared to wait in line and you wont be disappointed.

After our adventure we said out goodbyes and I started thinking, where will we go on our next Saturday adventure. I guess you'll have to stay tuned.

Everyone's a doctor

Some days I think I should put MD after my name. No I did not go to school for a gazillion years to study medicine, but I do have access to the Internet. In this day and age all you have to do is click on a couple very random questions regarding your symptoms and bam! you are diagnosed. No more long lines at the doctor's office or 3-5 months of waiting to get a cat scan. It really is a medical advancement.

The other day a woman in my office was having a pain in her head we thought ..tumor but according to web MD she has a brain aneurysm. Looking for a second opinion, she went to a real live doctor and crisis averted...she has a migraine. Whew it was close for a while.

I am sure self diagnosis is part of the reason the lineups are so long as everyone with an ache and a pain are panicked that they are going to die.....News flash:some day we all are....and while I am the first one who looks up various symptoms I or my family may have to get an idea of what they might actually have. I do take it lightly and wait until they actually see a doctor.

Sometimes the Internet has way too much information.

But I want to

There have been many days when I have bit my tongue instead of saying what I really want to. There have also been many days where I have not gotten my own way. I may look gracious and smile sweetly but inside I am having a mental hissy fit to the max. While this may not always be the case, I do miss the days of having a full on temper tantrum.

Yes...I admit it, I want to stomp my feet, scream at the top of my lungs and have my head spin around. Being a grown up and having to learn to control my emotions at times...sucks. Now I must admit that when I see parents who are having to deal with their children in a full on tantrum I smile affectionately and sympathize with them but inside I am thinking...ok kid...milk it while you can. If you pull that shit when you get older you are going to wish that a small spank was all that you would get...instead of looking like a full on crazy person and then the police start showing up.

Sigh....I don't think I had many tantrums that I can remember. I do remember slamming a lot of doors, growling under my breath and a lot of stomping..but later learnt that my mother could see what was coming and knew that peace was only moments away after my stomping began. Meanwhile I sat and stewed and could not believe that I didn't get my own way. I have now become older, and hopefully wiser and found ways to get my own way without the full on hissy...but one of these day I am going to go out to a field in the middle of nowhere and scream for all I am worth.....call it memories of things I never did.

I think I am a social experiment

Did you ever wake up and wonder why you got out of bed?

Some days I think I have cameras watching me just to see what I will do next. While people are at home watching, and thinking... this reality TV must be scripted. Nope, that's just me. I would like to say that the hair dye hasn't affected my thinking, my clumsiness is from lack of sleep or my perpetual apt for embarrassing myself is not a habit I am accustomed to ...but sigh..then I would be lying.

I have never been graceful, at any point, in my life. I have run into door jambs, the vacuum cleaner, tables, desks etc more times than I care to mention. I even have the bruises and lost toenails to prove it.

I have given up on my face blushing from any form of embarrassment and instead laugh it off. At least my neighbours enjoy the show. Now that I have you wondering...I will tell a little story called Exhibit A.

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I went out for dinner. I picked him up on my way home from work and off we went. After dinner we did some errands which involved a couple of stops, a trip to the hardware store and arms loaded. We got the stuff out of the car, I hit the automatic locks, we closed the doors and off we went into the house.

The next morning my husband goes off to work. I follow my sloth like routine and decided to head into work early as I had a couple of meetings to get ready for. I lock the front door and hit the automatic lock opener to the car and...hear nothing. I click the opener again and...nothing. This is strange. I then go back to the archaic days and open the car with the key and when I do all of the interior lights start to flash on and off...and I think...well that's odd. I put my key in the ignition, turn it and...nothing. SHIT!

So I think of possible solutions:
1. Call my husband and rant
2. Call roadside assistance
3. Call the dealership.

I go for option 3..no matter how tempting option one was. They log the scenario and tell me to call roadside, which I do. Then I wait..so much for going to work early...and wait...so then I call my husband to rant. While I do; roadside shows up. I grab my jacket and keys, lock the door and out I go. yes! The guy takes all of 3 seconds and my car is running. He says to let it run for 20 minutes. I say thank you, off he goes, I jump back in my car and look to my right...oh ohh..my purse and cell phone are in the house...which is locked. My house keys are in the ignition.

Now here is where I needed to make a choice. Behind door number one: go to work and forget the purse, I have a running car. Door number two: take out the keys with the house on them very quickly and replace it with my secondary key which is in my pocket from before.

Since I had a couple of meetings and needed my cell phone, I choose door number 2. The wrong door. Just for anyone wondering...you DO need to let your car run for 20 mins. Now what...CAA is already down the street. SO I go back in and call my husband to see if he can boost me...of which his response was...wasn't CAA just there..shut up!...come boost me. Luckily he was close by and this time I let the car run!

Now this would seem like any ordinary story except that in the past month I have done something similar twice more. Soon people are going to get tired of the repeats and change the channel. Maybe someday I will tell you about Tim Horton's.

If truth be told...

1. I think if you are old enough to buy alcohol, you are too old to wear pajamas outside to do it.

2. A good friend will not only laugh at your faults but will also find ways to showcase your talents.

3. Why do vacuum cleaners come with a light on the beater bar?

4. Why did it always seem like a good idea at the time?

5. Why do airlines fly you west first when you are going east?

6. I always seem to meet people I know when I am looking my worst but see no one when I am ready for them.

7. Why do I always remember my keys are in the car after the door has just shut.

8. I think the TV should have a "clap off" option for when you are in bed and cannot locate the remote

9. Never trust the brownie behind the display case, it looks better than it tastes.

10. I think I should start a non-book club-book club. I would rather someone hand me a book saying "this was good..read it".

11. Why does take out sound like a better idea before you eat it

12. I don't think the smell is the egg you just ate

13. Karma is real

14. How can I go grocery shopping and still have nothing to eat

15. I really don't think my pants shrunk in the wash, but I would like to believe it

16. I would rather sweat from laying in the sun than from exercising

17. I think the DMV uses the photoshop warp tool before printing your license.

18. I never trust a critic's movie rating as I like being able to understand the movie

19. Turkey dinner taste better when mom makes it

20. I think 50 being the new 40 and 40 being the new 30 hasn't felt my joints at 6:30am

What's in your cart?

OK, I admit it. When standing in the grocery lineup I look at what people have in their carts. It is some weird thing I do where I look at the ingredients and try to picture what they are going to make. unless it is a cart full of chips and pop and then i think drinking fest until I look up and see they are in their 80's and figure they are probably shoving their grandchildren full of "not alloweds" before giving them back to their parents. Karma can be a bitch.

I am just as guilty with my own cart. I look at the food placed haphazardly in the cart, and feel like others are watching and reorganize my cart...I know I need help. I also like to go up an down each aisle, unless my husband is with me..then we just need to pick up the exact items on my list and get the hell out. As I scour the aisles for new products and options from what I always seem to buy, I am on the look out for new packaging and branding.

I love to go into the one-off stores as well, as they always seem to have a weird organization of products. Like toothpaste and toilet paper go naturally beside each other but the paper towel is three aisles over. Then there is our lovely farmers market on Saturday where you get up early and race for a parking space that is less than 1km away. Have I mentioned that my husband would rather go shopping in a mall than to the market? Again, I know where each vendor is but feel gypped unless I go up and down each isle, I think I must have been a lab rat in another life.

So this morning after going for massages I casually mentioned that we should go to the market...coffee bribery is always good. I was sadly disappointed though as the crowd was almost non existent and half of the items were gone. On the flip side B. thought it was the best time to go...MEN!

So the next time you go to the market look at the odd array of items in your cart, peek around and throw something crazy in...just to make people wonder. Some days I have no life.

Live it up

Why does it seem that every where I turn lately, someone is either writing or talking about their life list or bucket list? Have making New Year's resolutions gone by the way side as they are too constricting to be done within the year; and therefore we have moved to bucket lists and things to get done by the end of our lives.

There are so many things which I would like to do but I seem to be more of a whim kind of girl, than the big dream type. They say you should have 100 items on the list, but my bucket list is simple:

1. Get B. to finish his "leftover" jobs around the house. This may take me until the end of my life to convince him to do
2. Get me to finish my leftover jobs around the house. ditto comment to above
3. Go to Greece
4. Be financially free...give me 10 more years on this one

I am sure over the years this list will grow and change but for now I am good with the four. After all I don't want to put too much stress in my life.

If I could turn back time

We have ventured into the realm of day light savings time. What does this mean for me? It means not only do I get up in the dark, I come home from work in the dark. Yeah me!
I realize that it was originally created to save on electricity but how is that again? If I get up in the dark, I immediately switch on the lights, as running into furniture is not one of favorite things to do. . So how am I saving energy?

Plus it makes crazy drivers come out. Almost guaranteed that ever night since the time change there has been an accident on my drive home. The torrential down pours might have played a part as well, but still. I think people forget how to drive in the dark.
Step 1. Turn your lights on
Step 2. Drive
I realize it is two simple steps but you would be surprised by how many people forget step 1.

On top of the darkness and crazy drivers now we have added to the pile the worst of them all...cranky people. People who do not get enough sun have something called S.A.D. disease (seasonal affect disorder). I think it is just a nicer way of saying "I hate winter" or "where the fu%^ did the sun go". I think everyone in the city in which I live has suddenly developed SAD. People are more cranky in general with the lack of sunlight and with Christmas shopping already in full swing this isn't helping.

There was once talk about eliminating daylight sayings time as there is not much use for it anymore and I for one support this plan. Sure I get to sleep in an extra hour on the Sunday afterward -which I don't as the internal animal clocks didn't change- but I would trade this to be able to walk my dog at night without a flashlight.

Does age matter

At what age are you able to say "Screw off" and everyone thinks you are being funny?

When you are in your preteens your mouth would get washed out with soap. Trust me as I tasted sunlight soap thanks to my brothers...and I still cannot buy this brand

When you are in your teenage years people just think you are being unruly and tell everyone to Screw off. Which is probably true as at this point you feel everyone is out to get you and no one understands the angst you are going through. After all you went out with him for three whole days.

In your twenties you get scolded as you are being disrespectful to your elders and you should be grown up by now. Mind you I think a lot of people should learn the word respect and they are not just in their twenties.

Now in my thirties I say things a little harsher than Screw off as it doesn't have the same authority that other words command. I is hard to tell a vaccuum to screw off when it has obviously run into your toe

I am looking at my forties and fifties and think I may be getting closer. But this point Screw off can mean...you stepped in my line of sight while I am having a hot flash. And while throwing that cup at your head may not be acceptable, felt really good.

But I really think it is in your eighties when this becomes ok. Mind you at this point the universe comes together and figures if you have made it this long you should get to swear random outburst, shove your shopping cart into someones heels "accidentally", fart and blame it on..well anyone really...you could whallop someone with your purse just for the heck of it ...and best of all... cake and cookies will not be off limits as by this time everything else has headed south, so by adding a bit of a belly you give yourself an equator.

Harbouring a Fugitive

At this time every year I skulk through our house at all hours of the day trying to avoid the dreaded ring of the doorbell. It seems like just after the kids go back to school the teachers send them out to collect money for something or other and they all seem to come to my front door. But why is it that I get the aerating the lawn, raffle tickets, wrapping paper and cookie dough ones. Why doesn't a girl guide who wants to sell me chocolate mint cookies ever ring my doorbell...hmmm might have something to do with my "when you ring the doorbell my D.O.G. goes ballistic".

This spring I actually had our first Girl Guide come to our door. I actually bought the funky paper-cardboard tasting -store bought vanilla and chocolate cookies in hopes of her return in the fall, but sad she did not return. Might have been the dog, might have been the natural, chicken poop fertilizer all over our lawn.

Some days I wish we had several levels to our house or that I liked to sit in the basement...but no. I sit in the front living room, so when all of the panders come to my front door they look in at me first so I have to go. On the rare occasion I am somewhere else in the house or have seen them go up the other side of the street so I am hiding away. Peeking out windows and tip toeing around...my own house! I feel like I am a fugitive or something so hideous that will scare the population should I answer the door. Now I know why my parents bought all of my chocolate bars and just gave me the money...to keep our 6 whole neighbours out of hiding. Plus selling chocolate bars on the highway might be considered a form of child abuse. I like to call it love....of thy neighbour.

But let's face it I would rather have a child ask me to buy a bruised apple than a Jehovah Witness give me their flyer for free.