If I could turn back time

We have ventured into the realm of day light savings time. What does this mean for me? It means not only do I get up in the dark, I come home from work in the dark. Yeah me!
I realize that it was originally created to save on electricity but how is that again? If I get up in the dark, I immediately switch on the lights, as running into furniture is not one of favorite things to do. . So how am I saving energy?

Plus it makes crazy drivers come out. Almost guaranteed that ever night since the time change there has been an accident on my drive home. The torrential down pours might have played a part as well, but still. I think people forget how to drive in the dark.
Step 1. Turn your lights on
Step 2. Drive
I realize it is two simple steps but you would be surprised by how many people forget step 1.

On top of the darkness and crazy drivers now we have added to the pile the worst of them all...cranky people. People who do not get enough sun have something called S.A.D. disease (seasonal affect disorder). I think it is just a nicer way of saying "I hate winter" or "where the fu%^ did the sun go". I think everyone in the city in which I live has suddenly developed SAD. People are more cranky in general with the lack of sunlight and with Christmas shopping already in full swing this isn't helping.

There was once talk about eliminating daylight sayings time as there is not much use for it anymore and I for one support this plan. Sure I get to sleep in an extra hour on the Sunday afterward -which I don't as the internal animal clocks didn't change- but I would trade this to be able to walk my dog at night without a flashlight.

Does age matter

At what age are you able to say "Screw off" and everyone thinks you are being funny?

When you are in your preteens your mouth would get washed out with soap. Trust me as I tasted sunlight soap thanks to my brothers...and I still cannot buy this brand

When you are in your teenage years people just think you are being unruly and tell everyone to Screw off. Which is probably true as at this point you feel everyone is out to get you and no one understands the angst you are going through. After all you went out with him for three whole days.

In your twenties you get scolded as you are being disrespectful to your elders and you should be grown up by now. Mind you I think a lot of people should learn the word respect and they are not just in their twenties.

Now in my thirties I say things a little harsher than Screw off as it doesn't have the same authority that other words command. I is hard to tell a vaccuum to screw off when it has obviously run into your toe

I am looking at my forties and fifties and think I may be getting closer. But this point Screw off can mean...you stepped in my line of sight while I am having a hot flash. And while throwing that cup at your head may not be acceptable, felt really good.

But I really think it is in your eighties when this becomes ok. Mind you at this point the universe comes together and figures if you have made it this long you should get to swear random outburst, shove your shopping cart into someones heels "accidentally", fart and blame it on..well anyone really...you could whallop someone with your purse just for the heck of it ...and best of all... cake and cookies will not be off limits as by this time everything else has headed south, so by adding a bit of a belly you give yourself an equator.

Harbouring a Fugitive

At this time every year I skulk through our house at all hours of the day trying to avoid the dreaded ring of the doorbell. It seems like just after the kids go back to school the teachers send them out to collect money for something or other and they all seem to come to my front door. But why is it that I get the aerating the lawn, raffle tickets, wrapping paper and cookie dough ones. Why doesn't a girl guide who wants to sell me chocolate mint cookies ever ring my doorbell...hmmm might have something to do with my "when you ring the doorbell my D.O.G. goes ballistic".

This spring I actually had our first Girl Guide come to our door. I actually bought the funky paper-cardboard tasting -store bought vanilla and chocolate cookies in hopes of her return in the fall, but sad she did not return. Might have been the dog, might have been the natural, chicken poop fertilizer all over our lawn.

Some days I wish we had several levels to our house or that I liked to sit in the basement...but no. I sit in the front living room, so when all of the panders come to my front door they look in at me first so I have to go. On the rare occasion I am somewhere else in the house or have seen them go up the other side of the street so I am hiding away. Peeking out windows and tip toeing around...my own house! I feel like I am a fugitive or something so hideous that will scare the population should I answer the door. Now I know why my parents bought all of my chocolate bars and just gave me the money...to keep our 6 whole neighbours out of hiding. Plus selling chocolate bars on the highway might be considered a form of child abuse. I like to call it love....of thy neighbour.

But let's face it I would rather have a child ask me to buy a bruised apple than a Jehovah Witness give me their flyer for free.

Aloha

Recently, we decided to make the long trek over the country to the land of tropical forests, volcanoes and the most relaxed humans on the planet. Hawaii.

Before we left we frantically packing and basically threw everything into the suitcase, which as it turned out weighed 12 different weights on the 12 different flights....but don't even go there.

I had no idea what to expect when we arrived but it was dusk when our plane touched down and the weather was warm and humid and my first thought was did we seriously fly 17 hours to feel like home

We spent three days in Oahu and for all of its hype, I am glad we visited but I am not sure if I would return to this island. It is more tourist driven, poverty is apparent and everyone wants money to do the simplest things....like $3 to park your car to look over a look off. The view was beautiful but not sure the five minutes and the hornets nest were worth it.

I was however happy I purchased the "revealed" book series before I left as the descriptions of place were bang on and trust the book for food choices as veering off of the path does not always lead to the best decision.

We did walk up and down the beach but funny...we never went in the ocean as I think we were too busy getting the lay of the land and trying to find me a pair of shorts.

Next we took an inter island flight- where seating is open- off to Kauai. This island is not visited as much and I think people really should venture as it is an island of friendly people and remarkable landscape. We meet people from all over the place on a hike we did to waterfalls. As I am puffing ...HARD...coming back up the hills, couples in their late 60's were asking if we had done the 12mile hike yet....Lets just say that it was a good thing the view was great as I have yet to become wilderness girl.

We toured all over the island and even through some back woods to various parts of the island. Renting a Jeep as definately worth it as my husband was only too happy to be able to veer off of the beaten path, through bushes trees and dirt roads. Lots of great food to be found if you are willing to look and no one in Hawaii needs to buy fresh ginger as it is everywhere.

We did do a helicopter tour through Blue Hawaii and it was worth the money. There were a couple of nail biting moments for this tour as we did a 360 in the volcano as the pilot turned around to look at us. Mind you it may have had something to do with this being my first helicopter flight and watching too many movies with helicopters crashing into mountains.

The views were spectacular...but then again it is pretty hard not to be when your island looks like this.

We were next off to Maui and I had a preconceived idea that this is where the famous people go. Well I am sure that if I looked for them I may have found them, but true to Hawaiian culture, I couldn't have cared less. It is pretty hard to care about much with the weather being sunny all day and the birds chirping constantly...not to mention all of the chickens and roosters roaming around. As you watch the sunset on the horizon drinking your glass of wine it is hard to imagine that people live any differently.

I was surprised that in Maui it seems to be more about what you don't do rather than what you do. If you are into living off the land and preserving the ecological system you are king and have it all. I expected to see mansions all over the place but was instead greeted mainly by humble homes with generous people. One man we met lets people have access to his property for free 365 days a year, he just asks that you leave by 5pm. His property overlooks cliffs on either side and his front porch view is one of the best snorkeling spots on the island. If this was anywhere else. There would be a visitors centre with a hefty entrance fee.

After only nine days on the islands we ventured back home as we live in a pretty good part of the world as well. Would I go back? Of course. But what was the most memorable

Best Meal: Giovanni's Shrimp Truck
Best Shopping: Waikiki open air mall
Best Deal: Doing a vacation package viewing to get discounts
Most exciting moment: Seeing a green sea turtle less tan 2 feet away
Biggest Surprise: How different the islands were. Look out for the back road from Hana
Worth the view: the Napli Coast from a helicopter
Most disappointing: We didn't stay longer and see The Big Island
Best beach: at the end of a long road in Kauai. Sand Dunes everywhere
Funniest moment: watching the runners in the Hana Run

Is it the most beautiful place on earth......some day I hope to answer this.

Lady's Night

Over the years there have been several lady's nights but they have constantly changed and evolved. In my 20's ..lady's night meant Thursday to Sunday- downtown with a group of girls acting stupid and getting drunk. Now I am not saying that it wasn't fun, just the opposite. We had a ball, now if I could only remember the stories instead of look at all of the sad photos of myself in varies degrees of sobriety.

In my thirties the visits downtown began to wither away to the occasional night downtown and I came home feeling annoyed by being pushed around and feeling older than I was. Does 19 really look THAT young!

As I grew (ahem..older) up, I realized I could have just as much fun hanging out with friends at some one's house than going downtown. I got to sit comfortably on a couch and have my cocktail made my way -instead of watered down with not man in sight...except for her husband locked in the basement with a screaming child....but shhh..nothing a little sleeping pill didn't cure. I'm joking ~wink.

One of my friends decided that since there were a lot of us in the same boat that she would start a lady's night. Every third Saturday of the month it is! It started out slow with only a couple of us and having little to drink as some of us had to drive..others had to only stumble across the street; but we needed something more...amusement.

I must admit over the years there have been many laughs and you have got to give our hostess credit for coming up with some unique ideas. We have had manicures and pedicures, sexy girls parties (including the uninhibited...which we don't talk about and will need some therapy for), a turkey swap(Basically we brought gifts and shared alcohol..I was surprised there were no turkeys), margarita night...you see the theme. Each month I eagerly await the naming of ladies night..not that I always attend...unless it could get embarrassing and Steph will be there. Yes we are laughing with you!

There are always lots of laughs and information shared. No I am not talking about gossiping..after all we are all there...except for ugly naked man... For instance, on the last lady's night I learnt you can lease a hot water tank through our local power company. Now I am not sure when I will use this info but it is there. There have been talks about a cougar crawl as an activity but there seem to be more groans than cheers for this one.

So the next time you are feeling blah and wondering what to do on Saturday night..call your girls and invite them in....did you know you can have a pole party at your house?

The good ole' days

Recently we have booked a trip to the lush Islands of Hawaii. After doing some research I discovered that there really is a Bali Hai. For anyone who has watched the movie "South Pacific" you will remember happy talking in the lagoons of Bali Hai. When I started mentioning this movie, I have begun to realize that the older moves have been lost and forgotten.

Growing up I loved to sit with my Dad-because he's a good dad- and watch musical after musical. I have watched My Fair Lady so many times that my parents bought me the VHS and I played that until it began to drag. I was in love with the songs, dresses and Eliza Doolittle. The movies now have half clad woman and no plot. Back then the plot were all the same...boy sees girl, girl sees boy. Girl taunts boy, girl gets boy...you get the drift..and in between each section they felt the urge to sing out their feelings. And lets face it, would any go to Oklahoma had it not been for the open song of "oh what beautiful morning".

Even now, musicals are more popular than ever with the revolution of such shows as Glee. I find myself wanting to watch he next one, just so I can sing along. Even the dog starts to sing along when I get louder.

Think of all of the life lessons I have learned from musicals:
1.Stocking someone you just met is OK as long a you dance around on the street where they live
2. You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true
3. Remember your favorite things to ward off thunderstorms
4. Somewhere over the rainbow, is where the munchkins live in a lollipop land
5. Clang, Clang, Clang went the trolley..It is always good to know trolley sounds
6. Summer love can turn into a real romance if you dress all sleazy
7. Sisters are devoted to each other unless there is a man involved
8. Hot chocolate is not just a drink
9. Singing n the rain can be fun if you wear the right outfit
10. Tomorrow is only a day away

Pack it Up

So why does it take longer to plan an vacation than it does to be on one? It doesn't matter if you fly off to an all inclusive or go camping, it all takes longer than it should. By the time you decide where you are going, what you need to take, arrange the details through the travel agent or Internet, arrange for animal care..etc. I am exhausted before I even begin on the adventure.

And adventures they are! I am probably a very annoying person to travel with, as I like to see every possible thing there is to see from a back road with special trees that I saw in a flyer all the way to the biggest tourist trap. Luckily my husband is up for this as well, the only problem is that by the time we get home we need another vacation where we just can just sit.

So here I am getting ready to go to a cottage for the upcoming long weekend and I am up at 7am to arrange things. I have planned the menu (because there isn't a grocery store for a whole 10 mins), written a list about what the cottage has vs what we need to take, doing the last minute laundry, vacuuming and cleaning-as I like to come home to a clean house- along with a multitude of other things...and we are only going for THREE DAYS.

Mind you, just because others are "roughing it" with the bare essentials doesn't mean that I have to. One of our first camping adventures involved a very packed car, with equipment you could plug into the cigarette lighter for power and one embarrassed husband -then boyfriend.

You see- his nickname is wilderness boy! His idea of camping is a tent (optional), sleeping bag, matches and some snacks. I think this sounds like torture. Where is my change of clothing and toiletries....and don't even get me started on having to take a poo shovel. I do not apologize for liking the finer things in life. I do not need a 5 star resort with hand and foot service(although this does sound appealing) but running water is essential and I am not referring to the stream "over there".

So as I pack up the final items into the car to go off on our "relaxing" adventure I think that the bare essentials of a toothbrush and a change of undies might not be so so bad....then I laugh myself silly and pack four more pairs of shoes...after all, a girl has to be prepared for any fashion emergency.