If truth be told...

1. I think if you are old enough to buy alcohol, you are too old to wear pajamas outside to do it.

2. A good friend will not only laugh at your faults but will also find ways to showcase your talents.

3. Why do vacuum cleaners come with a light on the beater bar?

4. Why did it always seem like a good idea at the time?

5. Why do airlines fly you west first when you are going east?

6. I always seem to meet people I know when I am looking my worst but see no one when I am ready for them.

7. Why do I always remember my keys are in the car after the door has just shut.

8. I think the TV should have a "clap off" option for when you are in bed and cannot locate the remote

9. Never trust the brownie behind the display case, it looks better than it tastes.

10. I think I should start a non-book club-book club. I would rather someone hand me a book saying "this was good..read it".

11. Why does take out sound like a better idea before you eat it

12. I don't think the smell is the egg you just ate

13. Karma is real

14. How can I go grocery shopping and still have nothing to eat

15. I really don't think my pants shrunk in the wash, but I would like to believe it

16. I would rather sweat from laying in the sun than from exercising

17. I think the DMV uses the photoshop warp tool before printing your license.

18. I never trust a critic's movie rating as I like being able to understand the movie

19. Turkey dinner taste better when mom makes it

20. I think 50 being the new 40 and 40 being the new 30 hasn't felt my joints at 6:30am

What's in your cart?

OK, I admit it. When standing in the grocery lineup I look at what people have in their carts. It is some weird thing I do where I look at the ingredients and try to picture what they are going to make. unless it is a cart full of chips and pop and then i think drinking fest until I look up and see they are in their 80's and figure they are probably shoving their grandchildren full of "not alloweds" before giving them back to their parents. Karma can be a bitch.

I am just as guilty with my own cart. I look at the food placed haphazardly in the cart, and feel like others are watching and reorganize my cart...I know I need help. I also like to go up an down each aisle, unless my husband is with me..then we just need to pick up the exact items on my list and get the hell out. As I scour the aisles for new products and options from what I always seem to buy, I am on the look out for new packaging and branding.

I love to go into the one-off stores as well, as they always seem to have a weird organization of products. Like toothpaste and toilet paper go naturally beside each other but the paper towel is three aisles over. Then there is our lovely farmers market on Saturday where you get up early and race for a parking space that is less than 1km away. Have I mentioned that my husband would rather go shopping in a mall than to the market? Again, I know where each vendor is but feel gypped unless I go up and down each isle, I think I must have been a lab rat in another life.

So this morning after going for massages I casually mentioned that we should go to the market...coffee bribery is always good. I was sadly disappointed though as the crowd was almost non existent and half of the items were gone. On the flip side B. thought it was the best time to go...MEN!

So the next time you go to the market look at the odd array of items in your cart, peek around and throw something crazy in...just to make people wonder. Some days I have no life.

Live it up

Why does it seem that every where I turn lately, someone is either writing or talking about their life list or bucket list? Have making New Year's resolutions gone by the way side as they are too constricting to be done within the year; and therefore we have moved to bucket lists and things to get done by the end of our lives.

There are so many things which I would like to do but I seem to be more of a whim kind of girl, than the big dream type. They say you should have 100 items on the list, but my bucket list is simple:

1. Get B. to finish his "leftover" jobs around the house. This may take me until the end of my life to convince him to do
2. Get me to finish my leftover jobs around the house. ditto comment to above
3. Go to Greece
4. Be financially free...give me 10 more years on this one

I am sure over the years this list will grow and change but for now I am good with the four. After all I don't want to put too much stress in my life.

If I could turn back time

We have ventured into the realm of day light savings time. What does this mean for me? It means not only do I get up in the dark, I come home from work in the dark. Yeah me!
I realize that it was originally created to save on electricity but how is that again? If I get up in the dark, I immediately switch on the lights, as running into furniture is not one of favorite things to do. . So how am I saving energy?

Plus it makes crazy drivers come out. Almost guaranteed that ever night since the time change there has been an accident on my drive home. The torrential down pours might have played a part as well, but still. I think people forget how to drive in the dark.
Step 1. Turn your lights on
Step 2. Drive
I realize it is two simple steps but you would be surprised by how many people forget step 1.

On top of the darkness and crazy drivers now we have added to the pile the worst of them all...cranky people. People who do not get enough sun have something called S.A.D. disease (seasonal affect disorder). I think it is just a nicer way of saying "I hate winter" or "where the fu%^ did the sun go". I think everyone in the city in which I live has suddenly developed SAD. People are more cranky in general with the lack of sunlight and with Christmas shopping already in full swing this isn't helping.

There was once talk about eliminating daylight sayings time as there is not much use for it anymore and I for one support this plan. Sure I get to sleep in an extra hour on the Sunday afterward -which I don't as the internal animal clocks didn't change- but I would trade this to be able to walk my dog at night without a flashlight.

Does age matter

At what age are you able to say "Screw off" and everyone thinks you are being funny?

When you are in your preteens your mouth would get washed out with soap. Trust me as I tasted sunlight soap thanks to my brothers...and I still cannot buy this brand

When you are in your teenage years people just think you are being unruly and tell everyone to Screw off. Which is probably true as at this point you feel everyone is out to get you and no one understands the angst you are going through. After all you went out with him for three whole days.

In your twenties you get scolded as you are being disrespectful to your elders and you should be grown up by now. Mind you I think a lot of people should learn the word respect and they are not just in their twenties.

Now in my thirties I say things a little harsher than Screw off as it doesn't have the same authority that other words command. I is hard to tell a vaccuum to screw off when it has obviously run into your toe

I am looking at my forties and fifties and think I may be getting closer. But this point Screw off can mean...you stepped in my line of sight while I am having a hot flash. And while throwing that cup at your head may not be acceptable, felt really good.

But I really think it is in your eighties when this becomes ok. Mind you at this point the universe comes together and figures if you have made it this long you should get to swear random outburst, shove your shopping cart into someones heels "accidentally", fart and blame it on..well anyone really...you could whallop someone with your purse just for the heck of it ...and best of all... cake and cookies will not be off limits as by this time everything else has headed south, so by adding a bit of a belly you give yourself an equator.

Harbouring a Fugitive

At this time every year I skulk through our house at all hours of the day trying to avoid the dreaded ring of the doorbell. It seems like just after the kids go back to school the teachers send them out to collect money for something or other and they all seem to come to my front door. But why is it that I get the aerating the lawn, raffle tickets, wrapping paper and cookie dough ones. Why doesn't a girl guide who wants to sell me chocolate mint cookies ever ring my doorbell...hmmm might have something to do with my "when you ring the doorbell my D.O.G. goes ballistic".

This spring I actually had our first Girl Guide come to our door. I actually bought the funky paper-cardboard tasting -store bought vanilla and chocolate cookies in hopes of her return in the fall, but sad she did not return. Might have been the dog, might have been the natural, chicken poop fertilizer all over our lawn.

Some days I wish we had several levels to our house or that I liked to sit in the basement...but no. I sit in the front living room, so when all of the panders come to my front door they look in at me first so I have to go. On the rare occasion I am somewhere else in the house or have seen them go up the other side of the street so I am hiding away. Peeking out windows and tip toeing around...my own house! I feel like I am a fugitive or something so hideous that will scare the population should I answer the door. Now I know why my parents bought all of my chocolate bars and just gave me the money...to keep our 6 whole neighbours out of hiding. Plus selling chocolate bars on the highway might be considered a form of child abuse. I like to call it love....of thy neighbour.

But let's face it I would rather have a child ask me to buy a bruised apple than a Jehovah Witness give me their flyer for free.

Aloha

Recently, we decided to make the long trek over the country to the land of tropical forests, volcanoes and the most relaxed humans on the planet. Hawaii.

Before we left we frantically packing and basically threw everything into the suitcase, which as it turned out weighed 12 different weights on the 12 different flights....but don't even go there.

I had no idea what to expect when we arrived but it was dusk when our plane touched down and the weather was warm and humid and my first thought was did we seriously fly 17 hours to feel like home

We spent three days in Oahu and for all of its hype, I am glad we visited but I am not sure if I would return to this island. It is more tourist driven, poverty is apparent and everyone wants money to do the simplest things....like $3 to park your car to look over a look off. The view was beautiful but not sure the five minutes and the hornets nest were worth it.

I was however happy I purchased the "revealed" book series before I left as the descriptions of place were bang on and trust the book for food choices as veering off of the path does not always lead to the best decision.

We did walk up and down the beach but funny...we never went in the ocean as I think we were too busy getting the lay of the land and trying to find me a pair of shorts.

Next we took an inter island flight- where seating is open- off to Kauai. This island is not visited as much and I think people really should venture as it is an island of friendly people and remarkable landscape. We meet people from all over the place on a hike we did to waterfalls. As I am puffing ...HARD...coming back up the hills, couples in their late 60's were asking if we had done the 12mile hike yet....Lets just say that it was a good thing the view was great as I have yet to become wilderness girl.

We toured all over the island and even through some back woods to various parts of the island. Renting a Jeep as definately worth it as my husband was only too happy to be able to veer off of the beaten path, through bushes trees and dirt roads. Lots of great food to be found if you are willing to look and no one in Hawaii needs to buy fresh ginger as it is everywhere.

We did do a helicopter tour through Blue Hawaii and it was worth the money. There were a couple of nail biting moments for this tour as we did a 360 in the volcano as the pilot turned around to look at us. Mind you it may have had something to do with this being my first helicopter flight and watching too many movies with helicopters crashing into mountains.

The views were spectacular...but then again it is pretty hard not to be when your island looks like this.

We were next off to Maui and I had a preconceived idea that this is where the famous people go. Well I am sure that if I looked for them I may have found them, but true to Hawaiian culture, I couldn't have cared less. It is pretty hard to care about much with the weather being sunny all day and the birds chirping constantly...not to mention all of the chickens and roosters roaming around. As you watch the sunset on the horizon drinking your glass of wine it is hard to imagine that people live any differently.

I was surprised that in Maui it seems to be more about what you don't do rather than what you do. If you are into living off the land and preserving the ecological system you are king and have it all. I expected to see mansions all over the place but was instead greeted mainly by humble homes with generous people. One man we met lets people have access to his property for free 365 days a year, he just asks that you leave by 5pm. His property overlooks cliffs on either side and his front porch view is one of the best snorkeling spots on the island. If this was anywhere else. There would be a visitors centre with a hefty entrance fee.

After only nine days on the islands we ventured back home as we live in a pretty good part of the world as well. Would I go back? Of course. But what was the most memorable

Best Meal: Giovanni's Shrimp Truck
Best Shopping: Waikiki open air mall
Best Deal: Doing a vacation package viewing to get discounts
Most exciting moment: Seeing a green sea turtle less tan 2 feet away
Biggest Surprise: How different the islands were. Look out for the back road from Hana
Worth the view: the Napli Coast from a helicopter
Most disappointing: We didn't stay longer and see The Big Island
Best beach: at the end of a long road in Kauai. Sand Dunes everywhere
Funniest moment: watching the runners in the Hana Run

Is it the most beautiful place on earth......some day I hope to answer this.