Wedding Bliss

I have been to several weddings in my life and over time I have been able to acknowledge, sometimes too openly, what I do and do not like about weddings. That is why, when we got married we thought about all of the painful things people put you through when they get married and we abolished them from ours:

1. No eating in front of people. I always feel sorry for people at the last table as they have watched all of the food go by, salivating at the chance that someone will drop off a carrot as they go by. By the time they get their meal, they are so hungry that they don't care that the meat is dry, the potato could be mistaken for a softball and don't even get me started on the wizzled vegetables...let alone the temperature of the food by the time it gets to you.

2. Wedding Cake. Whoever invented the traditional fruit cake for the groom cake and the white cake for the bride should be burned in eternal hell without a fan. Seriously we have come so far in the foodie culture that this is no longer required in 2012. Come on people...I don't care how pretty the outside is..it is what is on the inside that counts. Side note: we had 10 different cakes at our wedding and I think my father tried at least 5.

3. The Speeches. I like the short and sweet ..love ya speeches, but I do not care about you thanking your fourth cousin once removed for supplying the name of a caterer. Keep it light, full of jokes everyone gets and best of all 5 minutes ...TOPS... I usually find myself wondering how many steps it would take to get out the door and hang out next to the bar and wait for the pulling of the teeth to end.

4. The in between delay. Most of the time you go a wedding you do not know very many people so you spend your time making idle chit chat while the bride and groom are off getting their pictures taken. If it is a local wedding you can at least go home but at a destination wedding you are stuck there guzzling alcohol trying to speed up Father Time and wondering if you can return the gift you bought.

Now don't get me wrong there are lots of things about weddings I do like.

1. I like the exchange of vows. If you are going to make a commitment then doing it in front of people will hopefully make it stick.

2. Dancing. A wedding without dancing is like cake without icing...what's the point! I like getting my groove on and swinging my hips...you can't take the Maritimes out of this girl.

3. Drinking without guilt. If you have one too many cocktails...it's ok.. it just shows you are having a good time. Where else can you get away with this? Crazy enough, it's expected.

4. The fashion. The glitter. The shoes!!! The crow in me likey.

At the end of the day I think whether you spend $500 or $50,000 on a wedding the memories can be the same. It is about two people making a commitment to one another for the rest of their lives. Whether you have an appetizer or full seven course meal doesn't matter, what really matters is what is left on the gift table...oh yeah baby..gifts galore!

Life's too short

I live in a town which has four universities in a population just over 350k, which means that this time of year is crazy busy with back to school. Tonight I went out with some of my girlies to a cocktail and dessert bar...I know!, two of my favourite things- and while I did take some time to wash my face and slap on some makeup, I did not spend hours preening.

I have never been the type to take 2 hours to get ready. I am more of a.. I put some effort in and this is as good as it is going to get..kind of girl. I do realize that it takes some time to grow into your skin, to find out who you want to be, but lets face it...I am many years older than first year university and instead of getting all dressed up and wearing shoes I cannot walk in...I would rather wear shorts and a t-shirt and jump on bubble wrap any day...after all ..life's too short.

50 ...is a long time

When I was younger, I used to think 50 days was a long time to date one guy and now here I am just having celebrated my parent's 50th wedding anniversary.

During their impromptu party, I was asked to give a speech and I was not prepared. Afterwards I got to thinking about what it takes to make it to fifty years of wedded bliss...or at least a low level of tolerance. So here is my take on 50 years! - The top 5 version



5. Both people have to live! This is important as I am sure lots of people toast their love ones on what would have been their 50th but I am going to be a stickler on this one and rule you must both be living. Wheelchairs, pacemakers, oxygen masks..whatever it takes people.

4. Keep each day as a new discovery. I am sure that after 50 years it is hard to keep the mystery alive, but I am happy to say my parents have. For instance, my Father waited until they had been married for 46 years to tell my mother that he didn't like salmon.

3. Like different things. If you each like doing the same things with each other all of the time, you are going to get sick of each other really damn quick. My Father likes to go out and meet everyone with in a 10 km radius..Mom likes to go walking at night so she doesn't have to see anyone. Mom likes to read novels in short order and it takes the entire day for dad to read the newspaper.

2. Know who the leader is. While people like to believe a relationship is 50/50.. I believe that those people are probably divorced. When my parents travel, my father goes where he is told to go and they arrive safe and sound. When my mother dozes off in the backseat my dad and I take a wrong turn and end up with a story which still makes laughing headlines in our family.

1. Marriage is not 9-5. If it was we would all be unemployed or looking for a raise. Everyone signs up for the good times, but it is the bad times which strengthens the marriage. My parents have been through loss of family and friends, raising children, health issues, renovations and struggles a long the way.

But the secret to a long lasting marriage is to marry someone who has your back. When you get older, things don't look the same.. and knowing that when the cows get out, you can call and blame that person on the other end of the phone...while they are at work and can do nothing about it..and they just say "yup, it's all my fault" then you know you have a true lasting relationship.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Am I the exception?

You always hear about there being an exception to ever rule. Well, today I believe I am it. For some reason I hit the "next blog" button after viewing a post and for the next 15 clicks of this button I came up with blogs from Christians, about Christians, quotes of Christianity and even a couple of ministers. I am not saying that I am not a christian, but let's face it, my blog does not revolve around my mission in life to serve to serve others and be devout.

I grew up going to Sunday school and the day I decided to drop out was probably one of the happiest days of my mother's life. No more dragging me over the roads while she sat in a cold church upstairs. We then became "those people". You know the ones who only go to church at Christmas and Easter. Every year we went at Christmas and every year one of us got sick...so then we stopped going altogether.

I later went on to university and there was a non denominational church on the campus which I occasionally went to, and later decided to check out a "sister" church to a local Baptist church. I went here for about a year and then decided that a lot of these people were hypocrites. They were there to meet a husband, or to feel more righteous than their neighbours. I guess they missed the fact that I had a boyfriend and I was not the one falling asleep during the sermons.

I did not get married in a church nor do I read the bible. Do I believe in God? That is a hard question for me. I believe in a higher power but do I believe he is brown hair and blue eyed as all the pictures indicate? No. Do I believe the bible stories? To a degree, but there are a lot of contradictions as they are one person's perception of what happened. Plus I believe in evolutions...gasp.

I am happy to live my life in the best possible way I can, believe in a greater good, and try not to be too sarcastic. I think that is all anyone can ask for, so don't expect me to peddle my opinion anywhere as you will be disappointed..and for all of you out there looking to be saved...hit "next blog"...as you won't find it here. I am more into telling it like it is, laughing about it and moving on.

By George I Got It

All this time I have been thinking about a non book club book club. See . So last night at about 2am, when I do my best thinking, I thought screw the book club ...I should start a bake club! This way we can talk about whatever and eat!

The more I thought about my wonderful idea the more I thought ...there should be some rules...welcome to the OCD side of me.

So here is what I have come up with:

Rule 1: The core group shall consist of 6-8 people
Rule 2: There is no pressure to actually bake the goodies, sometimes store bought can surprise everyone
Rule 3: Everyone must bring one item and enough servings for 12
Rule 4: The hostess will not be the same person each time and they can invite whomever they want to their day but no one else can bring extras...this rule is strictly for seating purposes as none of us have enough seating for 20 in our living rooms.
Rule 5: If you bake it...bring 10 copies of the recipe
Rule 6: The hostess gets all the leftovers.
Rule 7: This is meant to be casual and not add extra stress on anyone so simplistic drinks such as tea, juice/water will suffice. This is not a competition
Rule 8: The hostess names the theme of the party..in other words if the hostess is looking for kids birthday party treats than that's her decision....no matter if she will freeze the leftovers and use them at said party...hey who am I to judge
Rule 9: The bake club will be held the first Sunday of every month..not so much a rule but a guide
Rule 10: I think there are enough rules...so let's have fun and eat!

Who's in?

It's all about the poop

It never fails that whenever my family sits down to a meal the topic of fecal matter always pops up. The conversation can be going along in a completely different route and then all of a sudden poop comes into the picture.

It is not always at dinner either. When we first got our dog I knew I would have to pick up the poop. I have never had the best of stomachs for picking it up, but I figured I could venture. I actually built a whole system down to how I do it. I usually get lots of forewarning with the dog pooping as he suddenly does the John Wayne walk and then drops his bum...stares intently at you and the deed is done. In order for me to deal with this and not gag...not to say I haven't..here is my scenario.

-When your dog is beginning the John Wayne walk. Stop. Make sure you are not in the downwind direction
-When he stares directly into your eyes, turn the other way and get the bag ready
-Inspect the bag once it is over your hand, still turned away, to ensure there are no hole or tears. This ensures no vomiting on my part either
-Hold breathe and quickly look to see if the deed is done. Turn head back the opposite way and let out your breathe
-Hold your breathe once again, turn around..pick up the poop, flip over the bag, beginning walking away, knot the bag, take two more steps and breathe out


The last step take only a minute but it is the most important step to limit the gag reflex.

Not only do dinner and walking consume the poop conversation but so does general conversation. I recently had to take Tylenol 3s and two members of my family began talking about my possible constipation...which I wasn't...Everyday the big conversation was...did I poop...I thought they were going to cheer when I did...I KNOW...we need a life but then again...Shit happens!

Break it down

I love to read recipes. I love to look at the pictures and imagine what it will taste like. I have been going online for years to search for new ideas and twists to our favorites. Because really how many times can you make the came chicken over and over.

So I am always looking for new ideas. I tend to go to allrecipes.com a lot as it is an easy site to search and has ratings; which for the most part, are true.

If you are trying to find a recipe by your local restaurant...chances are you will find it here copykat.com

There are lots of site out there but then I came across this one today and the pictures are amazing foodgawker.com. This site will make you drool over the possibilities. For once I found a site where I am actually going to try the full recipe without making any changes....well maybe a substitution or two wouldn't really make a difference.