Children are Assholes

Let me first begin by saying, I do not have children; therefore, I am sure there are some perfectly well adjusted, non entitled children out there...but I haven't seen them. In general people are raising little assholes who will grow up to be bigger assholes.  

What do I mean? 

Every child since the beginning of time has said "I want" or " I need" (insert something here). I can remember getting the Wish Book when I was young, flipping through the pages and imagining all of the things I could ask for. Writing my mile long list...and some years even totaling it, in hopes that Santa would bring me one item on it. I was sure to asterisks the most important ones.

It usually consisted of some clothes, a game or a barbie. I did not get gifts every time we went shopping, there was no Dollar Store and the thought of even asking for something outside of a special event was not in the realm of my thinking. 

To go on school or club trips I dusted, vacuumed and did odd jobs to earn some spending money. I grew up in a rural area, so babysitting was not an option. My parents spent more money driving me to my part-time jobs than I made, but it was all to learn a valuable lesson, one which I am eternally grateful for...I know the value of money.

I hear my friends talk about gifts for their children and I am always amazed what they ask for: laptops, ipads, cell phones, $400 jackets...etc.  I am thinking I have some of this but I WORK for it, I do not feel it should be given to me.  Children are very materialistic these days and no one is changing it, more, so they seem to be encouraging it. Are these same parents going to support these children when they get their first credit card and max it out? Are we raising a future society of over spenders?

Tonight I was having dinner out, listening to a conversation going on at the table behind me...yes I admit I was eavesdropping...when the meals were being delivered the mother and daughter both ordered spaghetti and meatballs. The mother had one more meatball on her plate (because the child basically screamed it). The child demanded they change plates because it was her birthday and the mother did...and then told her to keep her voice down.

Again, I am not a parent but I see many things wrong with this scenario.

People need to be a parent, stand up to their children and not try to be their friend. Act up and there are consequences, Want an ipad? Earn it! 

I'm not saying don't buy these things, but I don't feel a nine year old needs a cell phone unless he/she suddenly has invented something and is growing an empire. Entitled Children....I would like to take out my bat (foam of course) and beat their parents with it...as these are the children who will dump you off at the first nursing home they find after you refuse to pay for their family's vacation to Bora Bora...and the only person you have to blame is yourself.

This is how I feel as I sit here drinking my tea on my high horse wanting to bitch slap the 9 year old at dinner.  Maybe I need to add something stronger to me tea.

Somethings Never Change

People keep talking about all of the things that are constantly changing. Yes there are lots of things that have changed in the world as we know it with technology and industry but let's face it- one thing that has not changed is people.

I have just started watching the series Downton Abbey about an aristocratic family (The Crawley's) and the life upstairs with the family and downstairs with the staff. So far each episode has made me root for one member and I am ready to slaughter others.

People's relationships haven't changed nor have the scandals and gossip.

We are still trying to one up each other on the backs of others. The only difference is now there really is no stop on changing social classes. People can become wealthy or poor overnight. I don't really even think people (unless really poor or rich) even pay attention to anymore.

Instead of texting the gossip they mailed letters. Instead of cyber bulling...they did it to your face. I recommend this show as one to watch as just when you are about to throw one of the characters overboard they suddenly surprise you with something that may resemble humanity.

So sit back, get your glass of wine and watch "real life" unfold

Man vs Wood

I am not sure if all men are born with the same gene which prohibits the painting of wood but it seems they all have it. Every time I talk about painting "real" wood, I can see a part of my husband cringe. When we remodeled our kitchen I forewarned my husband that no matter how he built it, the cabinets would be painted white. I thought my father-in-law was going to throw himself in front of the paint brush before the first stroke. He is of the mind set that no paint should touch the sacred heart of a tree.

In my mind, a tree is chopped down sent to a mill to be cut and torn apart then sanded ...what's a little paint after that! I on the other hand love paint. The more colour the better. I would not be inclined to paint a beautifully crafted piece but mouldings or (more recently) a cabinet...let me at it!

Recently I decided that the china hutch in our dinning room had become my nemesis. That thing collects dust like nothing I have ever seen. It has tons of tiny crevices and I spend more time dusting the fuzzies off from my dusting brush to the point where I'd say.."The hell with it" it can collect as much dust as it wants.  I came to a point when I could no longer take it and set my mind to paint it. If I had know the amount of work it would take to complete this job (while my husband was away) I might not have started it.

So here is the before...note all of those tiny crevices in the bottom doors

Then on goes the primer coat....gotta love Bin. It avoids the sanding stage, but ensure you have a well ventilated area..as the fumes can make you loopy...and let's face it I cannot afford to loose any more brain cells. Age is already taking care of that part.

Then after some more work, a couple drinks (water of course) and some (ok LOTS) of curse words...ta da...

When my husband got home, I asked what it thought about the cabinet. He looked at it and said "maybe it will grow on me". I guess I deserve that after the kitchen tile fiasco...See near the bottom of post for the story



Wedding Bliss

I have been to several weddings in my life and over time I have been able to acknowledge, sometimes too openly, what I do and do not like about weddings. That is why, when we got married we thought about all of the painful things people put you through when they get married and we abolished them from ours:

1. No eating in front of people. I always feel sorry for people at the last table as they have watched all of the food go by, salivating at the chance that someone will drop off a carrot as they go by. By the time they get their meal, they are so hungry that they don't care that the meat is dry, the potato could be mistaken for a softball and don't even get me started on the wizzled vegetables...let alone the temperature of the food by the time it gets to you.

2. Wedding Cake. Whoever invented the traditional fruit cake for the groom cake and the white cake for the bride should be burned in eternal hell without a fan. Seriously we have come so far in the foodie culture that this is no longer required in 2012. Come on people...I don't care how pretty the outside is..it is what is on the inside that counts. Side note: we had 10 different cakes at our wedding and I think my father tried at least 5.

3. The Speeches. I like the short and sweet ..love ya speeches, but I do not care about you thanking your fourth cousin once removed for supplying the name of a caterer. Keep it light, full of jokes everyone gets and best of all 5 minutes ...TOPS... I usually find myself wondering how many steps it would take to get out the door and hang out next to the bar and wait for the pulling of the teeth to end.

4. The in between delay. Most of the time you go a wedding you do not know very many people so you spend your time making idle chit chat while the bride and groom are off getting their pictures taken. If it is a local wedding you can at least go home but at a destination wedding you are stuck there guzzling alcohol trying to speed up Father Time and wondering if you can return the gift you bought.

Now don't get me wrong there are lots of things about weddings I do like.

1. I like the exchange of vows. If you are going to make a commitment then doing it in front of people will hopefully make it stick.

2. Dancing. A wedding without dancing is like cake without icing...what's the point! I like getting my groove on and swinging my hips...you can't take the Maritimes out of this girl.

3. Drinking without guilt. If you have one too many cocktails...it's ok.. it just shows you are having a good time. Where else can you get away with this? Crazy enough, it's expected.

4. The fashion. The glitter. The shoes!!! The crow in me likey.

At the end of the day I think whether you spend $500 or $50,000 on a wedding the memories can be the same. It is about two people making a commitment to one another for the rest of their lives. Whether you have an appetizer or full seven course meal doesn't matter, what really matters is what is left on the gift table...oh yeah baby..gifts galore!

Life's too short

I live in a town which has four universities in a population just over 350k, which means that this time of year is crazy busy with back to school. Tonight I went out with some of my girlies to a cocktail and dessert bar...I know!, two of my favourite things- and while I did take some time to wash my face and slap on some makeup, I did not spend hours preening.

I have never been the type to take 2 hours to get ready. I am more of a.. I put some effort in and this is as good as it is going to get..kind of girl. I do realize that it takes some time to grow into your skin, to find out who you want to be, but lets face it...I am many years older than first year university and instead of getting all dressed up and wearing shoes I cannot walk in...I would rather wear shorts and a t-shirt and jump on bubble wrap any day...after all ..life's too short.

50 ...is a long time

When I was younger, I used to think 50 days was a long time to date one guy and now here I am just having celebrated my parent's 50th wedding anniversary.

During their impromptu party, I was asked to give a speech and I was not prepared. Afterwards I got to thinking about what it takes to make it to fifty years of wedded bliss...or at least a low level of tolerance. So here is my take on 50 years! - The top 5 version



5. Both people have to live! This is important as I am sure lots of people toast their love ones on what would have been their 50th but I am going to be a stickler on this one and rule you must both be living. Wheelchairs, pacemakers, oxygen masks..whatever it takes people.

4. Keep each day as a new discovery. I am sure that after 50 years it is hard to keep the mystery alive, but I am happy to say my parents have. For instance, my Father waited until they had been married for 46 years to tell my mother that he didn't like salmon.

3. Like different things. If you each like doing the same things with each other all of the time, you are going to get sick of each other really damn quick. My Father likes to go out and meet everyone with in a 10 km radius..Mom likes to go walking at night so she doesn't have to see anyone. Mom likes to read novels in short order and it takes the entire day for dad to read the newspaper.

2. Know who the leader is. While people like to believe a relationship is 50/50.. I believe that those people are probably divorced. When my parents travel, my father goes where he is told to go and they arrive safe and sound. When my mother dozes off in the backseat my dad and I take a wrong turn and end up with a story which still makes laughing headlines in our family.

1. Marriage is not 9-5. If it was we would all be unemployed or looking for a raise. Everyone signs up for the good times, but it is the bad times which strengthens the marriage. My parents have been through loss of family and friends, raising children, health issues, renovations and struggles a long the way.

But the secret to a long lasting marriage is to marry someone who has your back. When you get older, things don't look the same.. and knowing that when the cows get out, you can call and blame that person on the other end of the phone...while they are at work and can do nothing about it..and they just say "yup, it's all my fault" then you know you have a true lasting relationship.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Am I the exception?

You always hear about there being an exception to ever rule. Well, today I believe I am it. For some reason I hit the "next blog" button after viewing a post and for the next 15 clicks of this button I came up with blogs from Christians, about Christians, quotes of Christianity and even a couple of ministers. I am not saying that I am not a christian, but let's face it, my blog does not revolve around my mission in life to serve to serve others and be devout.

I grew up going to Sunday school and the day I decided to drop out was probably one of the happiest days of my mother's life. No more dragging me over the roads while she sat in a cold church upstairs. We then became "those people". You know the ones who only go to church at Christmas and Easter. Every year we went at Christmas and every year one of us got sick...so then we stopped going altogether.

I later went on to university and there was a non denominational church on the campus which I occasionally went to, and later decided to check out a "sister" church to a local Baptist church. I went here for about a year and then decided that a lot of these people were hypocrites. They were there to meet a husband, or to feel more righteous than their neighbours. I guess they missed the fact that I had a boyfriend and I was not the one falling asleep during the sermons.

I did not get married in a church nor do I read the bible. Do I believe in God? That is a hard question for me. I believe in a higher power but do I believe he is brown hair and blue eyed as all the pictures indicate? No. Do I believe the bible stories? To a degree, but there are a lot of contradictions as they are one person's perception of what happened. Plus I believe in evolutions...gasp.

I am happy to live my life in the best possible way I can, believe in a greater good, and try not to be too sarcastic. I think that is all anyone can ask for, so don't expect me to peddle my opinion anywhere as you will be disappointed..and for all of you out there looking to be saved...hit "next blog"...as you won't find it here. I am more into telling it like it is, laughing about it and moving on.