Wedding Bliss

I have been to several weddings in my life and over time I have been able to acknowledge, sometimes too openly, what I do and do not like about weddings. That is why, when we got married we thought about all of the painful things people put you through when they get married and we abolished them from ours:

1. No eating in front of people. I always feel sorry for people at the last table as they have watched all of the food go by, salivating at the chance that someone will drop off a carrot as they go by. By the time they get their meal, they are so hungry that they don't care that the meat is dry, the potato could be mistaken for a softball and don't even get me started on the wizzled vegetables...let alone the temperature of the food by the time it gets to you.

2. Wedding Cake. Whoever invented the traditional fruit cake for the groom cake and the white cake for the bride should be burned in eternal hell without a fan. Seriously we have come so far in the foodie culture that this is no longer required in 2012. Come on people...I don't care how pretty the outside is..it is what is on the inside that counts. Side note: we had 10 different cakes at our wedding and I think my father tried at least 5.

3. The Speeches. I like the short and sweet ..love ya speeches, but I do not care about you thanking your fourth cousin once removed for supplying the name of a caterer. Keep it light, full of jokes everyone gets and best of all 5 minutes ...TOPS... I usually find myself wondering how many steps it would take to get out the door and hang out next to the bar and wait for the pulling of the teeth to end.

4. The in between delay. Most of the time you go a wedding you do not know very many people so you spend your time making idle chit chat while the bride and groom are off getting their pictures taken. If it is a local wedding you can at least go home but at a destination wedding you are stuck there guzzling alcohol trying to speed up Father Time and wondering if you can return the gift you bought.

Now don't get me wrong there are lots of things about weddings I do like.

1. I like the exchange of vows. If you are going to make a commitment then doing it in front of people will hopefully make it stick.

2. Dancing. A wedding without dancing is like cake without icing...what's the point! I like getting my groove on and swinging my hips...you can't take the Maritimes out of this girl.

3. Drinking without guilt. If you have one too many cocktails...it's ok.. it just shows you are having a good time. Where else can you get away with this? Crazy enough, it's expected.

4. The fashion. The glitter. The shoes!!! The crow in me likey.

At the end of the day I think whether you spend $500 or $50,000 on a wedding the memories can be the same. It is about two people making a commitment to one another for the rest of their lives. Whether you have an appetizer or full seven course meal doesn't matter, what really matters is what is left on the gift table...oh yeah baby..gifts galore!