Deck the Crazies

Every year the decorations for Christmas seem to come out earlier and earlier. It seems wrong that "deck the halls" is playing while I am picking out a pumpkin for Halloween. I realize stores are feeling the pinch this year with sales down (not that you would know it from driving past the mall on Saturday) but come on.

I drove past an apartment building last week only to see three Christmas trees up in the windows and lit! That must be where all the Christmas crazies live I thought..but they are everywhere. I think people should stick to the unwritten rules of Christmas decorating.

Rule 1: Stores are allowed to decorate for Christmas by November 1st but are not allowed to play merry Christmas music until after November 11. By the time Christmas comes I don't care where the hell frosty goes or if it was upon a midnight clear.

Rule 2: You can shop for Christmas whenever you want but do not even think about Christmas decorating until after November 11th. After this you are allowed to think, plan or what ever you crazies can come up with but you are not allowed to DO anything until the last week of November and then on DEC 1st and only DEC 1st can you turn on the light and deck the halls to your merry contentment.

I think that is pretty simple..two rules~

I remember in the good ole days when I used to get off the school bus on Dec 1st and run in the house to see which ornament my mother had hung up. More often than not it was this gold danglely ball that she always stuck in the direct path of my father. It wasn't Christmas unless I saw that tacky ball swing. Scary thing is I saw those balls last year at a design store and they were call "vintage"...ahh how we find nice names for expensive tacky!

I have a friend (you know who you are) who likes to have a Tacky Little Christmas with all of the decorations and novelties right down to the reindeer socks and pajama top with a snowman on it (that she wears in public). Everywhere you go in her house there is a little "something" waiting to surprise you and she thoroughly gets delighted in wearing and placing these "decorations" around her house...she doesn't even do it JUST to piss me off. I guess though if it hadn't been for my mother I am not so sure I would have any Christmas spirit in me at all. As none of the men in my life want to even acknowledge the "over commercialized" holiday. It is amazing how love will make you climb on top of a slanted roof, slide down next to the icicles only to put up lights for four weeks. One year we went away before Christmas and didn't come back until two days before so I couldn't be bothered to put up any decorations. I have never seen people so horrified at my lack of Christmas spirit.

It is not that I lack Christmas spirit it is just the opposite, but this doesn't mean I have to show to the public that I can out do them. I went to Florida one year and they start decorating in November..grrr..but boy do they go crazy. I think this is where all the Christmas crazies go to retire. One man decorated his front yard with cotton batten and then strung lights up and down it so it would look like twinkling snow..to take it one step further he gave you 3D glasses to see the lights in option 1) Angels 2) Snowflakes..and he was one of the more mild decorators. Some streets are all done up, and would hate to be the person who decides not decorate as much that year..you probably get your house bombed with candy canes and coal!

Instead, I like the more simplified version of Christmas. I do like white lights on the front of the house with a floral arrangement on the front step. I like the smell of a fresh tree and the twinkling of the crystal snowflakes and shiny bulbs on it. I like spending time with friends and families and the parties that go along with the season. I laugh when everyone complains they have eaten too much and and will diet in the new year. I enjoy finding just the right gift and card for everyone and like to wrap gifts up instead of throwing them in a bag. I must admit I am sad to take it all down as the house looks so bare afterwards and as the snow flies and hibernation begins I do think back to days of Christmas past....but my memories start at DEC 1st!

For the love of...SHOES!

I think a person's shoes says a lot about their style or lack there of. I have suffered many a day with blisters just because the shoe looked good with the outfit. The older I have gotten the more I have learned there are still very pretty shoes which ARE comfortable and then I leave the "half hour shoes" for their special occasions.

Stiletto heels were discovered in a tomb of tebas in Old Egypt dated from 1000 BC (yes I googled it) and we have never looked back. There is something about the way a heel and pointy toe makes your leg look. Speaking from the owner of cankles(calves that merge into ankles without separation), if I don't have a heel on I have just added 20lbs to my ankles. The epitome of shoes, in my opinion, are Manolo Blahniks. He took a stiletto and made them art...mind you this art starts at about $400 but you could hang it on your wall and it is cheaper than a Monet!

I still will not forget the day Leanne(her name has not been changed as the shame shall continue) asked me "Jimmy Who?". I have watched the TV show "What not to Wear" where they have to convince women to try on a pair of heels and once they do they are sold forever. Now if they could only do an intervention on teenagers who think that clomping around in a heel looks good. I guess they should look in a mirror before walking out as they look like they are about to teeter over at any moment or they are playing dress up in their mother's closet. Mind you I have never tried to push them over but it could become a new sport.

While heels are my favorite I do give props to flats and sneakers unless you are wearing sneakers with your skirt(I don't care if it is comfortable...JAN)but do have a problem with crocs. Granted I do own a pair, given to me by my Uncle as a joke and I use them to take the dog out to pee in the backyard. In my opinion they are no more comfortable than my slippers so I am not sure what the fascination is with them besides an ugly sense of fashion. There are much cuter sneakers out there which are just as comfortable.

I must admit my sometimes inappropriate foot ware has caused a huge sigh of frustration from my husband when he suggests going for a walk along the waterfront after having dinner. Which causes me to sheepishly look down at my feet and gauge whether or not I will be able to walk the duration without ending in hobbling pain or to suck it up and apologize to my feet later. I have also aerated many a lawn while getting pictures taken I have sunken about 2-4"; but this has not down trodden my outlook every time I put on a new pair of heels. There is just something about strutting around like a peacock in my new pair of shoes that makes my day turn brighter.

Some of my favorites..note purple one has aeration marks:)